I remember reading somewhere about a traveller who had ventured to Norway to see the Northern Lights. They set up a tripod and camera then sat all night to be thoroughly disappointed by an achromatic sky. When they looked back over the photographs they realised that the incandescent, colourful sky was undoubtedly there, they just hadn’t been able to see it clearly. The Aurora Borealis appears in a spectrum of colours some of which aren’t easily visible to the naked eye.
Sometimes its hard to see how beautiful things are until you reflect on them, this became abundantly clear to me when I read over my New Year’s Resolution post from last year. It was hard to notice the changes along the way but looking back at the bigger picture I can see how every little decision I made influenced where I am now. Like the decision to leave the city and opt for a more rural life closer to my family and the lifestyle choices I made when I decided to cut down on alcohol and living off junk food.
By no means are things easy, my mental illness wasn’t cured and the journey to becoming a mentally healthier person wasn’t painless. But what has changed is the way I deal with my low episodes, how I treat myself, how I can now pride myself on my self care routines and how I do find myself truly appreciating being alive for the first time.
So my resolution for 2017 is the same as it was in 2016. It is to stay strong, keep surviving and appreciate life. I probably won’t pick up a new hobby, save more money, learn to cook or be more active. And I won’t promise to learn a new language or stock up on avocados, quinoa and açai berries but I will be more fair to myself, and I’ll forgive myself when I struggle. I won’t be trying to become a ‘new me’ just a happier, healthier one.